The Process of Grieving

Grieving has been on my mind a lot this month.

You've probably heard that grieving is a cycle. A process. And from what I've experienced of it, that's very true.

Sometimes, I feel like I've come out of that grief, and then a memory will suck me right back into "the pit of despair" -- to use a line from the movie, The Princess Bride (1987). But I'm glad that God brings people alongside us to grieve with us. My dear friend, Erin, came to my grandpa's funeral earlier this month. She wept with me after the service. Entering into grief with one another is a beautiful thing. A healing thing. And it's a powerful display of love.

I've been watching the show 19 Kids and Counting on Netflix, and the episode I watched last night was filled with grief. I couldn't help but weep with Michelle Duggar and her family as they mourned the loss of their precious baby girl, Jubilee.

I thought that this month in particular might be a good time to share a poem I wrote back in 2009 about grieving. I hope you take the time to enter into another's grief. To allow them to share and cry ... and not have to try to hold back the tears. We shouldn't have to hide our grief.

The Spiders

Dark spiders are

warm and wet
down my silken cheeks

Black saltwater stains crust on
my fingertips.

The dark, dripping webs
smother me

until I am small,

And everyone can see –
I am not hidden at all.


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